


Life In The Fast Lane

by brokenhighways



Category: Hit the Floor (TV)
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Humor, M/M, Post-Canon, Reality TV, Snark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-07-02 04:42:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15789177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokenhighways/pseuds/brokenhighways
Summary: Jude and Zero get their own reality show.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Y'all can blame this one on my binge watch of Love & Hip Hop.

Zero can't believe that they're doing this. He's sitting on this uncomfortable chair, with a makeup artist touching up his face.

He's about to record one of the talking heads for _Zude: Life In The Fast Lane._

That's right.

Zero and Jude finally have their own reality TV show.

The team have been pushing them to showcase their relationship and generate some good publicity (apparently fraud, murder and hooker scandals have a negative impact on major league basketball teams).

They finally agreed after Jelena told them she'd make life a living hell if they didn't.

So, here is he is, about to make idiotic comments on whatever footage they have.

_Jude’s poking through the fridge randomly and there's a lengthy pause before he sighs and kicks it shut._

“Did he just _kick_ the fridge shut?” Zero frowns. He turns to Jude who's wearing a sheepish expression. “Dude, seriously?”

Jude rolls his eyes. “I was barefoot. There's barely even a scratch on it.”

Zero just shakes his head.

_This time, Jude's just coming out of a meeting. Zero's talking to the receptionist._

_“You must be bored out of your mind. I know I am.”_

_“You're waiting for your boyfriend, right?” The camera pans to the receptionist innocently rearranging her shirt. Before switching back to a decidedly unfazed Zero._

_He smirks and says, “Yeah, I am.”_

_The receptionist leans forward. “Oh and how is that all going?”_

Where is _this_ going? That's what Zero wants to know. He's not even going to comment on the scene.

“Really, Zero? Marcus Douglas’ receptionist?” Jude is unimpressed. He even shifts his chair so that they're not touching arms.

“Hey, she was the one flirting with me. I was just being polite.”

“Sure you were.”

_It's date night and Zero is running around trying to make sure that everything is in order._

_“This is all going to go to shit if we don't have those fancy mozzarella sticks. Seriously. Last time I did this for Jude, he was all like, 'but the mozzarella sticks’ like I hadn't spent three hours slaving over the stove.”_

“Slaving over the stove?” Jude blurts out. “You can't even make toast. Seriously, when we first starting dating all he would eat was cereal.”

Zero frowns. “What's wrong with cereal? It's quick and easy and you don't have to wait for it.”

“Sounds like one of your pick up lines.”

There's an awkward pause while the producers just stare at them.

The executive producer is a short black woman called Tracy and she scrunches her face disdainfully.

“Okay, so this is good, but let's keep it light. These are light segments. We need light commentary.”

“I can make toast by the way, I just choose not too. Why would I waste time making toast when I can get someone to do it for me?”

Jude bows his head down and scratches at his forehead. “I don't know how I put up with you sometimes.”

“S’called a relationship Jude. That and I'm an amazing lover. Like you could ever deny yourself all of this.”

Zero may or may not be gesturing at his crotch area.

Tracy takes over her headphones and raises an eyebrow. “Are you guys having a serious argument or are you just doing the witty banter thing? If it's the latter, it's kind of overplayed. We want natural reactions.”

Natural reaction to a staged reality show. Zero has officially heard it all.

_Jude is having dinner with his parents._

“Wait, when was this? I thought your mom and dad refused to sit down together at all?”

Tracy rolls her eyes behind the camera. “It's funny how people change their minds when you throw enough cash at them.”

_“Zero and me are getting married and I'd like you both to be there.” Jude's voice is sincere, even as Oscar shifts nervously and his mother, Cherry, folds her arms and takes a fake sip of her red wine._

_“Jude, darling, how well do you know this man?”_

_“His name is Zero and we've been in a_ **_relationship_ ** _for three years!”_

_Oscar tuts quietly. “Don't talk to your mother like that.”_

_Cherry whips around so fast that she jostles her wine. “You've said much worse to me you [bleep]. Go [bleep] yourself.”_

_Jude glances around quickly before he leans forward and tries to placate his parents. “Look, just come to the wedding. That's all I ask.”_

_Neither of his parents hear him because they're still in the middle of their argument._

_“If you'd raised him right, we wouldn't have to deal with this,” Oscar is saying. He slams a hand down on the table for effect, but the camera catches his pained grimace._

_This time Jude loses his cool. “You're kidding, right? You're only acknowledging me now because I still have access to the team.”_

_Oscar adjusts his tie and looks down at his untouched salad. “That's not true.”_

_Cherry's glass of wine is up and soaking Oscar's pristine white shirt before anyone can say anything._

_“You're a piece of [bleep], Oscar. Go [bleep] yourself. Asshole.”_

Zero can barely contain his laughter. “Dude, your mom has a potty mouth.”

  
Jude glares at him. “Fuck off.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

Zero's throwing hoops with one of the neighbour kids when Jude appears. He's holding a Starbucks cup in his hand he appears to be tired. There are dark circles under his eyes and he's stifling a yawn. 

“We'll finish this later, kid,” Zero says, ruffling the boy’s hair before he runs off.

Jude smiles softly. “Thought you hated kids.”

They haven't really had that discussion yet, although, given that they just got fake married for reality television, maybe they don't have to just yet. 

“I do - unless they're good at ball.”

“Sometimes, you worry me,” Jude says, shaking his head for effect. 

Zero raises an eyebrow, smirking when Jude rolls his eyes. “Only sometimes? I must be losing my edge.”

~

They're back in the dining room that they never use, with cameras, equipment, wires and cables set up everywhere as the production team get ready to film the next round of talking heads. 

Tracy and her ever present clipboard are onhand to give them some directions. 

“Remember, guys, we want this to be nice and tame. You leave the drama for the show and you take the high road behind the scenes. It's Reality TV 101.”

Zero dodges another makeup brush and rolls his shoulders back. “Here's a suggestion. How about we just keep it  _ real _ ?”

Tracy's response is like rapid fire. “Ain't nobody want to see the real you, buddy. Trust me on that.”

Before Zero can come up with a response, Jude rushes in, looking more alert now that he's had his coffee. He leans down to give Zero a chaste kiss before he takes his seat. 

“You taste like sugar.”

Tracy looks back over her shoulder as if to say, 'Really?’.

Jude eyes them both weirdly before he says, “I ate a donut. I needed the energy boost.”

That makes Zero mirror Tracy's expression. “I have a bunch of high energy shakes in the fridge.”

“You also put a Jude embargo on the fridge.”

Oh. Yeah. 

It's possible that Zero might have overreacted during their last argument and security locked the fridge. It's a custom made refrigerator with an inbuilt blender and Bluetooth speakers. Jude can't just keep on  _ kicking  _ it shut. 

“You need to respect Bertha.”

“Since when did the  _ fridge  _ have a name?” Jude snaps. “We wouldn't have this problem if you'd just bought a normal fridge like a  _ normal  _ person.”

Tracy seems to find the whole thing amusing. “Maybe the real you isn't so bad after all. Although, the fact that you're still living and breathing makes me wonder who has the upper hand in this relationship.”

This time Jude smiles serenely. “Zero's dry spell can attest to that. No fridge equals no sex.”

Zero glares at both of them when they erupt into a fit of giggles. “Can we get on with this? I have a training session later.”

+

_ Zero's on court during his solo practise while Jude watches from the executive box. Lionel is there alongside him, glass of red wine in her hand.  _

_ “Why does he still have his shirt on?” she whines. “More importantly, why are we here?” _

_ Jude has a grim look on his face when he looks away from the court. “The board are concerned about his performance. They're thinking about offering up to the highest bidder. With the fraud case and the fine, we can't afford to pay his salary for too much longer.” _

_ Lionel ponders this for a moment. “So offer him a pay cut and just make up the rest of it with sex?” _

_ Jude presses his lips into a thin line. “I called you here for some helpful advice, Lionel. Zero's not going to agree to a pay cut.” _

“Actually, I'd be open to taking a pay cut it means that I get laid again.”

Jude's eyebrow shoots up. “I'll remember that. Lionel has been  _ dying  _ to have one-off hate sex with you.”

Zero is so appalled that he can't even form words. 

Tracy snorts in the background. “Guess you better unlock your fridge, boy.”

+

_ Zero's is practising with Derek Roman at the arena. Considering that they're not really friends, it's awkward.  _

_ “What do you think of Pete?” Zero asks before throwing the ball at the ring. The ball lands through the hoop and bounces neatly. _

_ This is Derek's first year back since he left for Miami and he's still adjusting to Zero being team captain.  _

_ “He's a good coach.” _

_ Zero throws the ball to Derek. “So you didn't see anything wrong with the game plan last week?” _

_ It's been all over the media. Pete Davenport has lost his touch. However, Zero needs a legitimate dressing room rebellion on his hands before he can pass the message along to Jude.  _

_ “Look, you're [bleeping] the boss. I just got back here. I'm not going to fall for whatever trick you're up to. None of us are.” _

“Wait, the team still don't trust you?” Jude seems perplexed by this notion. 

It's not like Zero gives a crap. He's worked too hard for this to let a bunch of unruly egos ruin it.

Zero shrugs. “I'm with you. You run the team. Oh and there's also the part where I sort of came to L.A. to steal Derek’s thunder. I wouldn't trust me either.”

Jude concedes the point with a nod of agreement. 

_ “I'm not whispering anything in Jude's ear. Relax.” _

_ Derek throws the ball back to Zero. “I don't trust you, Zero.” _

_ Zero throws the ball right back at him, but Derek catches it like the pro he is.  _

_ “I don't give a [bleep]. We're here to play ball and I'm captain. However, I need to have the team onboard before we make any suggestions and I know that they all look up to you. You're a Devils legend.” _

_ Derek throws the ball back at him. There's a long and intense stare off before Derek answers.  _

_ “The guys are still behind Pete for now, but there's some rumblings. I think we should give him until the end of the season.” _

_ Zero holds onto the ball this time. “Fair enough.” _

_ He's halfway across the court when Derek stops him.  _

_ “Ahsha wants you and Jude to come to our dinner party.” _

_ Zero laughs a little as he turns around. “Why on earth would she want that?” _

_ Derek rolls his eyes and exhales messily. “We're releasing a line of designer silverware. We need big names to be there.” _

_ Zero nods slowly. “Didn't I already RSVP to that?” _

_ “Yeah. Luckily for you, I intercepted it. How many times are you going to RSVP with “drown, bitch?” It's highly inappropriate.” _

_ “You're doing me a favour, so I'll do you one and come to your little party. Asking me not to RSVP with my own option... well... That's another favour.” _

_ Derek's eyes darken. “Fine. I'll tell the team that whatever you say is good with me. The fact that they're already so willing to go along with what I say is a big enough moral victory.” _

_ Zero snorts. “There's no such thing as a moral victory.” _

Jude is absolutely aghast. “You've been RSVPing with  _ drown, bitch _ ? Are you completely insane?”

That Jude would even ask such a question is crazy. 

“You already know the answer to that. Besides. I'm pretty sure that you're not upset with me over that.”

Zero is also fairly confident that his dry spell is about to come to a welcome end. 

“Oddly, I'm more offended by the designer silverware. I wish Ahsha had come to me with this. We could have offered her some assistance.” 

Jude furrows his brow like he's really disturbed over a few knives and forks.

Zero turns back to the camera and grimaces dramatically. “Yeah, 'cause Jelena Howard would put aside a long-standing rivalry and support her arch nemesis’ business endeavour. Be happy that you knew nothing about it.” 

+

_ Jude is kicking one of those crappy vending machines that dispense coffee when a shadow looms over him. He straightens his body and comes face to face with… _

_ Lucas.  _

“Seriously? Are we really doing this right now?” Zero doesn't even care that Tracy is pissed that he's disrupting production. 

The problem with signing up to a reality show is that even after sitting through countless meeting they  _ always  _ manage throw in an extra surprise. 

Like that scene where Zero bumped into Lindsay Lohan who he dated for a hot minute. Totally awkward. Totally scripted. Which would be fine if he was in on the damn script. 

“For what it's worth, I had no idea that Lucas would be there.”

“ _ Lucas. I haven't seen you since---” _

_ “---Zero had me blackballed from every single agency possible. I don't know how he did it, but it was impressive.” _

_ Jude glares down at Lucas. “I have no idea what you're talking about. Why are you even here?” _

_ Lucas’ sneer is bitter and ugly. “I wanted you to know that I'm back. And I intend to make life very difficult for you.” _

  
“Huh,” Zero says in lieu of some actual commentary. “I guess every show needs a villain.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that I should be working on the last part of the Thrill series but writer's block has struck me once again. So, this is me trying to get into the zone, lol.

They end up getting into a huge argument over the Lucas scene that Zero had no idea about. It's so bad that he ends up drinking shots with Jelena at the Playground. Jude is off somewhere probably alphabetising his already alphabetised files.

After twenty minutes it becomes clear that Jelena is unmoved by Zero's complaints.

“What did you expect, dummy? You're on a reality show.”

“That _you_ signed us up for. Seriously, Lucas?”

Jelena’s green eyes remain cold and unbothered. “I don't see what the issue is”.

+

_Lucas and Jude are still by the vending machine._

_“You and Zero, huh?” Lucas says bitterly. “I guess I should be happy that such an esteemed star wanted my sloppy seconds.”_

Zero has to do a double take. “He's dead.”

Seriously. He can't think of any logical reason why Lucas is still breathing. Zero can hear Tracy groaning while Jude leans over and squeezes his shoulder soothingly.

“It's okay,” he murmurs, even though it's absolutely not okay.”

Zero shrugs Jude's hand off him. “Nobody speaks to you like that.”

Tracy walks over to them and says, “As touching as this is, we need you to go over that last line. This time leave out the death threat.”

When they give him the signal, Zero looks in the camera head on and says, “He's _toast._ ”

“ _Zero is a million times better than you ever will be. In every single way possible.”_

_“Did you ever tell you that he saw me that night? That I didn't show up.”_

_“Oh, yeah, he told me, Lucas and you know what I am needy. What I need the most is a clear conscience. So, I told every single agency that would listen that you'd been taking a larger cut of your clients pay than you were supposed to.”_

Now that's something that Zero didn't see coming. All he did was get the agency to fire Lucas (although he wishes he'd thought of blacklisting him back then).

Zero whoops loudly. “If we weren't in front of cameras, my reaction would be a lot different, but this is amazing. Look at his face. Fucking classic.”

_“So, you're the one that had me blacklisted?” Lucas is in utter disbelief._

_“Being EVP comes with its perks, Lucas, and honestly, I hope you're not planning on being an agent again. I have a lot more contacts now than I did back then.”_

_Lucas’ face is now ashen. “My trust fund kicked in and I spent a lot of money putting my own agency together.”_

_Jude steps forward and pats Lucas's shoulder. “Yeah, you might want to see if you can get your money back.”_

_With that he walks off, leaving a dejected Lucas in his wake._

“Why didn't you just tell me that this is what happened when we were arguing about it?” Zero asks Jude.

Jude rolls his eyes. “Legally, I can't. Plus, if you hadn't stormed out we could have just saved ourselves the hassle and finished taping the segment”

“Hey, my stubbornness is a virtue, Jude,” Zero replies. “I've always been hot-headed. In more ways than one.”

Tracy clears her throat loudly. “We all know what you're talking about.”

Zero smirks. “Good.”

+

_Jelena and Zero are attending a private charity event. Jude's in Omaha scouting for new players._

“I was in Omaha?” Jude seems perplexed by this revelation. “More importantly, you went out with Jelena?”

Zero can admit that he's lost count of all of the places Jude jets off to. The Jelena aspect... well.

“Can I plead the fifth?”

_“Okay, so, was I really your only option tonight? Considering that we've, you know, been linked together in the past.”_

_Jelena's resulting glare is withering. “Don't get your panties in a twist, Zero. There was nothing memorable about our time together.”_

“Oh, gosh. Did she just question Zero's sexual prowess? This isn't going to end well. He might need a Xanax to get over the blow to his ego.”

Sarcastic Jude isn't really Zero's favourite Jude, but his reaction is to be expected.

Zero doesn't even comment because he knows what's coming next and it isn't good.

“ _I_ _find that very hard to believe, Jelena. What we had was one of a kind.”_

“ _You're not even in the top five of the best lovers I've had. Can we drop this subject now?” Jelena guides them towards their seats._

_Zero being Zero definitely does not drop the subject._

_He pulls her chair out for her, shoving it in a touch hastily when she sits._

_He takes his own seat and leans over to hiss, “We had sex in a_ **_confessional_ ** _booth. That's memorable. That's extremely memorable.”_

“Just when I think you can't surprise me anymore…” Jude trails off, clearly lost for words. It's not like Zero could give Jude every single detail of his Jelena's time together. They'd already been hanging on by a thread before Zero grew a pair and realised that he'd fallen in love.

“ _Wow. Really. I was deeply emotional because I was at the funeral of my mentor. What was your excuse?” Jelena's face takes on a heartbroken demeanour, leaving Zero and his ever present smirk sticking out like a sore thumb._

“I find it interesting how they've edited that clip,” Zero says abruptly. He can feel the heat from Jude's glare so he definitely does not look at him.

“I can't believe you had sex with Jelena during Olivia's _funeral_.” Jude's always taken Zero at his worst and his best, but this time he seems genuinely disappointed.

Tracy clears her throat. “Really? I can.”

Zero just looks down at the floor.

+

Jelena pulls some strings and they get that scene cut from the episode - much to Jude's chagrin.

“Oh, now no one will know that you did ungodly things in Church!”

Zero cocks his head to the side. “What's really bothering you?”

They're having lunch together and taking a welcome break from working on the show. Jude's been salty ever since the Jelena scene and Zero doesn't really know how to fix things.

“I just can't believe you went as Jelena's date. We both know that it wasn't just a meaningless fling for _you._ ”

Jude's always going to have that self-doubt that Zero wishes he could wipe away, but he never has to doubt what Zero feels for him.

“I'm in love with you and only you, Jude,” he tells him. “Jelena was just...a fling. I thought I felt more for her, but... I was mostly in denial about you.”

It's crazy that they've never had this discussion until now.

“Really?” Jude seems hopeful yet doubtful at the same time.

Zero reaches over and places his hand on top of Jude's, smiling as the warmth bleeds into his skin. “Really.”


	4. Chapter 4

Zero wins the ESPY award for Best Male Athlete and gets so caught up in celebrations that he turns up two hours late for taping. Jude is sitting there, looking clean and neat as per usual. Zero is man enough to admit that he looks terrible. He's in a creased white Henley shirt and black Nike joggers paired with boat shoes.

It doesn't happen often but he's only human.

“Nice of you to show up,” Tracy grumbles. “Luckily, we were able to shoot some of Jude's solo commentary.”

Zero blinks.

After the joint sessions, there's _more_?

“Yeah, Zero, there's more,” Jude says patiently because he's a good boyfriend/fake husband. He knows that it takes Zero twice as long to process things when he's hungover. “We went over the paperwork remember?”

Zero casts his mind back; they were in Jude's office, and while Jude was leafing through the papers and talking, he was fantasising about using Jude's ugly tie as a blindfold when they got home.

“Uh, sure. I remember.”

“Liar.” Jude smirks, which means that _he_ remembers what happened, and for some reason Zero feels _himself_ blushing _._

_The scene starts with Zero fixing Jude's bow tie. Jude’s smile is placating, but the camera pans to him readjusting the bow tie as soon as Zero's back is turned._

_“My hair stylist has mono. Can you believe that?”_

“Is is me or are you _always_ preening at yourself in the mirror?”

At this point, Zero's wearing his shades and has a giant Starbucks cup in his hand.

“It's not preening when you look this good.”

“Your modesty is one of the things that I love about you,” Jude retorts, but Zero can hear the smile in his voice.

“ _Your hair looks fine, Zero. It doesn't need to be bleached to death every time we require you to show up somewhere looking good.”_

_“It just feels weird. Even after the whole part where my stylist’s dumb assistant used the wrong [bleep] in my hair.”_

_Pictures of Zero's shaven head flash on the screen._

_“Don't take this the wrong way, but I kind of prefer this colour. It makes you look more like a team captain and not some dick who still hazes people even though he's not in college.”_

“Why did you start bleaching your hair anyway?” Jude asks, turning to face Zero. “Even Justin Timberlake gave up on blonde.”

“First of all, I'm much cooler than Justin. He's an asshole. Look at what he did to Britney! I don't know what Jessica Biel sees in him.”

“Oh, go--”

“Secondly,” Zero cuts Jude off, “That blonde ramen noodle monstrosity he had on his head was a nightmare for all of us. Giving up that haircut was a public service. I, on the other hand, look good either way.”

Jude turns back to look at the camera. “He gets more and modest everyday.”

Tracy rolls her eyes. “Why don't you just get a barber? They'll set you up with a neat cut.”

Zero has to lift the shades for his rebuttal. “Barbers cut hair. Stylists _style._ I'm a stylish guy. Need I say more?”

Jude frowns. “Uh, yeah. 'Cause I have no idea what you're trying to say. What about you, Tracy?”

Tracy shakes her head. “No clue.”

Zero lets his shades slip back onto his nose. “I hate you both.”

+

_There's a huge media frenzy at the event and TMZ drops the exclusive._

_Zero debuts new look at charity event!!!_

“Wow, three exclamation points?” Zero says. “I'm flattered.”

Jude raises an eyebrow. “I'm not sure why your hair is such a big deal. It's not like your Jennifer Aniston. No one was requesting the 'Zero’ haircut.”

“I have a whole bunch of fan mail that I haven't read that _probably_ says otherwise.”

_Derek and Ahsha Roman are seated on Jude and Zero's table, forcing them to make small talk. Jude does most of the talking, leaving Zero to people watch._

_At least until Ahsha decides to turn her attention to Zero._

_“Hi, Zero.”_

_Zero blinks at her and takes a good twenty seconds to reply. “H-hi?”_

_“I like the new hair colour. It suits you, makes you look more refined. Kind of like you're Zero 2.0. Or Zero Reloaded!”_

_Zero stares at her. “Zero 2.0”_

_“Yeah! It's like a new chapter!” Ahsha's eyes light up as she speaks. “We should go shopping sometime and work on your fashion sense next.”_

“Just for the record, there's _nothing_ wrong with my fashion sense.”

Jude grabs his phone and pulls up a picture of a leopard print suit that Zero wore to the premiere of Lionel's comeback movie. “Really?”

“Okay, _that_ was a mistake. I can't be perfect all the time.”

Jude mock clutches his pearls. “Did you really just say that? Someone call an exorcist!”

_“Aren't you busy with dance practise and... stuff?” Zero is clearly floundering, but when he looks to Jude for direction, the other man is deep in conversation with Derek Roman._

_“Jelena won't let me back on the team, so I've just been working on a few things.”_

_There's a long rambling sequence in which Ahsha tells Zero every single thing that she's working on._

_When she's done, he smiles at her and says, “Amazing.”_

“I think her tablecloth line is a neat idea,” Jude says, breaking the long silence that followed the clip.

Zero raises an eyebrow. “No one on this planet needs a diamond encrusted table cloth.”

+

They're called into Jelena's office two days after the Ahsha debacle.

Jude exchanges a concerned look with him after they watch Jelena pacing up and down for a good five minutes.

“Did you want something, or can we go? I have a mani-pedi at three.”

Jude jabs Zero in his side, but he doesn't care. The less time he spends with Jelena, the better. His ego can only take so much.

“I need to make sure that I have a good edit for this reality show. I _can't_ be the villain. Not with Miguel in school and everything.”

“You do realise that all of the little brats can just Google you, right? Who cares?”

Jelena slams a perfectly manicured hand on her desk. “I care.”

_They're meeting up with Jelena and Terrence for lunch. After several years apart, much has been made of Jelena and Terrence's reunion._

“I bet she paid him to do this,” Zero mutters. He freezes, looks up and says, “please edit that out.”

Tracy's grin is bright and wide. “We’ll see.”

_“So, Terrence, I hear that you're going to be joining us for community outreach.” The smirk on Zero's face is so obvious that even Jude has the decency to look contrite. Much has been made of Terrence's bankruptcy over the last few months._

_“Yeah, I'm the new director,” Terrence replies stiffly. “Jelena tells me that you were the first to volunteer for our soup kitchen scheme.”_

_The camera deliberately pans on Zero's face as his smirk fades slowly._

“That'll be a fun. Zero with a hairnet handing out soup.”

“Sassy is not a good colour on you, Jude. Plus, you're supposed to be on _my_ side.”

Jude laughs and rolls his eyes fondly.

“ _You know me, always happy to help the community.”_

_Jelena nods fervently, “Me too. I find that as I'm mellowing, there's nothing better than giving to those less fortunate than ourselves.”_

_Zero glances at Terrence and nods. “Can't agree more.”_

“I think that Jelena's community outreach programme has been a huge success, and even though Zero's greatest love is himself, he's been pretty hands on.”

Zero extends his hands and lifts them up. “What can I say? I'm a man of the people.”

+

They take a break from filming to have dinner with some friend of Jude's from college. Zero tried his hardest to get out of it, but Jude always knows the right buttons to push (and undo).

It takes all of five minutes for Zero to realise that he doesn't like the guy. His name is Tom and he's an _investment banker._ He's also not completely hideous to look at and his suit is quite clearly in season.

“Oh, remember that one Professor we had? He always sounded like there was a frog in his mouth.”

Zero smiles awkwardly as Tom and Jude laugh raucously. He's not sure why he's even here. Tom didn't bring a date, so he's just the third wheel.

Knowing Jude, he invited Zero along so that he wouldn't feel some kind of way about the whole 'friends’ thing. It's that thought that has him excusing himself.

“Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?” Jude asks when Zero lies about having a headache.

Zero kisses Jude quickly and loosens his tie. “I'm sure. Have fun.”

_+_

“Zero, what the hell happened to your face?” Tracy instructs the cameraman to stop rolling and stares at him, eyes wide and fixed to the dark bruising around his eye.

“Didn't you watch the footage from last night?”

Zero's doing one of his solo talking heads today, which is good because he's not sure how to face Jude and tell him what happened.

They're shooting some extra scenes, hence the awkward college reunion he sat through. Apparently, they needed more non-basketball related material.

One of Tracy's minions runs in and hands her an iPad.

“What the…” she trails off as she watches the footage back. “Does Jude know?”

Jude definitely does not know and to be honest, Zero was hoping that the makeup crew would lend him enough concealer to hide his black eye until it fades away.

“He's got an all day meeting.”

Tracy doesn't seem convinced. “We should call him.”

Zero rolls his eyes, regretting it instantly when a sharp wave of pain washes over his face.

“It's fine, okay? He'll understand why I didn't tell him.”


	5. Chapter 5

Jude definitely does not understand why Zero didn’t tell him  _ and  _ his beat down turns into a whole media shitstorm. Someone leaks a story to TMZ claiming that Zero was mugged for his Rolex. Radar Online says he was jumped by a jealous ex and her goons. There are rumours upon rumours and that's not even Zero's biggest problem. 

Jude packs a bag and goes to stay with Lionel, leaving Zero to deal with Jelena and the countless VH1 lawyers claiming that he's liable for all the costs caused by the delay in production. 

“Look, just find Jude and tell him that you're sorry,” Jelena says. “You're really good at needy apologies.”

Zero narrows his eyes at her. “Thanks for your support.”

+

Eventually, they let him do his solo talking heads and Zero's forced to sit there on his own while they figure out what scene they want him to talk about next. 

_ Lionel and Jude are out for a scripted lunch. Judging by the colour of her face, Lionel's on her third glass of wine.  _

_ “So, the wedding is in three weeks.” _

_ Jude barely looks up from his salad. “Yeah...Can’t wait.” _

Zero balks at what he's seeing. Yes, they did a whole fake ceremony because the production company strongly suggested it, but they were both in on it. 

_ Lionel raises an eyebrow. “You do want to get married, right?” _

_ Jude finally looks up. “Yeah. It's just that all of this extravagance is not my thing. I want something... real.” _

“How do you feel about that?” Tracy prompts him. 

Zero frowns, shaking his head while he tries to remain composed. “We talked about a small ceremony, but ultimately, I'm a celebrity. The fans and team have been so supportive that I just wanted everyone to share our special day.”

It's all bullshit, but what else is he supposed to say? That he and Jude never really discussed being real married seriously enough for him to contemplate it? 

He's already in the middle of a media storm, he doesn't need another one.

+

Lionel has always been a thorn in Zero's side. Particularly now. She's standing in her doorway in what can only be referred to as  _ inappropriate  _ answering the door  attire. 

“Do you mind? I'm busy!”

Zero doesn't ask what she's doing because he's seven hundred percent sure that he'll never want to know. 

“Is Jude here?”

After a long pause, she rolls her eyes and lets him in. 

“He’s in the office. Keep the noise down. I have a guest”

Zero snorts. “Yeah, I bet you do.” 

It doesn't take him long to locate Jude in Lionel's office. His ever present laptop is stationed in front of him, but there's a harried look on his face. 

“Jude.”

Jude looks at him and turns away. “I'm pretty sure this office is above Lionel's bedroom.”

Zero doesn't understand what that has to do with anything and - oh. 

Ew. 

“Can we just go home,  _ please _ ?”

Jude shuts the laptop and picks it up, before beckoning towards the door. They leave the office and end up in the front hallway. 

“I'm only leaving with you because Lionel got tired of hearing me whine about you after the first day. I'm pretty sure she's passive aggressively having sex with Pete to get me to leave.”

Zero wrinkles his nose. “I don't even want to think about that.”

Jude rolls his eyes. “Look, I overreacted. It's just that I feel like we don't  _ communicate  _ anymore. It's like doing the show has made us afraid to say what we really feel.”

“I was embarrassed.”

“What?”

Zero coughs and looks down at his Jordan's. “I let some punk ass kid get the jump on me and I was embarrassed. That's why I didn't tell you. It's only my pride that made me step outside and do what I needed to do. Do you really think I liked people seeing me like that?”

Jude shakes his head in disbelief. “You were  _ embarrassed _ ?”

“Yeah. I mean, I  _ could  _ have kicked that kid’s ass, but all I thought about was damaging my hands not being able to play.”

Even though Zero knows his behaviour was right at the time, he’s a street kid. He grew up fighting at his foster homes, tussling with kids in the street, Not being in a position to defend himself doesn’t sit right with him. 

“Zero, as your boss I’m extremely happy that you didn’t hurt yourself  by acting on a perfectly normal impulse. And as your boyfriend, I’m really sorry for what happened to you and….I’m sorry that I haven’t been supportive. I made this whole thing about me and that was wrong.”

Zero shrugs. “It’s fine.”

Jude steps forward and places a hand on Zero’s shoulder. “It’s not fine. I’m going to find out who did this to you and make them pay.”

The sheer amount of venom in Jude’s voice should be worrying but it's kind of a turn on. 

Unfortunately, trouble comes in the form of Pete, who appears at the foot of the stairs dressed in his boxers and Lionel’s red silk robe. 

Zero shudders at the sight.

“Boyfriend?” Pete says, even though neither of them have acknowledged him. “I thought you were married?”

“We should go,” Zero says in lieu of answering. The last thing they need is for this to leak before their show even airs. 

“Oh, I don’t think so, Zero. You’ve had a lot to say about me over the past season. I wonder what everyone would think if they knew you were  _ pretending  _ to be married for publicity.”

Zero runs a hand through his hair and turns to Jude. 

There is absolutely no way that this is going to end well. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is literally just a writing exercise at this point, but I hope it's readable!
> 
> I'm STILL working on the last part of the Thrill verse, just FYI. :)

“This is not what I signed up for.”

Zero has to imagine that he's just established 'Reality TV’ bingo. Except his complaint is about something that is very real. 

“I'm sorry, Gideon. Apparently this is what we have to do to keep Pete silent.”

Zero grimaces. “Hang out with him? I mean, he could have asked for money, a car, or the complete makeover that he needs, but he wants us to help him revamp his image?”

Jude laugh and knocks Zero's shoulder with his own. “It's not that bad. He's... got some redeeming qualities. I mean, you guys can talk about basketball and stuff.”

“All he talks about  _ is  _ basketball. Specifically the championships that he's won. All that's missing is the mullet that he rocked in the eighties.” 

“It's just until the show airs, okay? We got this.” 

+

_ Jude’s sitting courtside for one of the games and the guy next to him keeps glancing over at him.  _

_ After an awkward pause, Jude smiles at the man. “Great game, huh?” _

_ The man sneers at him. “Like you would know.” _

_ Jude's eyebrow arches upward. “I am the the EVP of the team.” _

_ “Yeah, and you're also fucking the small forward.” _

_ “Do you have a problem with that?” _

_ “Maybe I do.” _

_ “Right. Well, then. Enjoy the game. It'll be the last one you watch from this arena.” _

_ The man seems to realise the gravity of his word and he takes a different approach. “Wait, wait, look, I have my opinion and you have yours, okay? I just don't agree with that lifestyle is all.” _

_ Jude smiles tightly. “That's fine. You can disagree from the comfort of your own home.” _

_ With that Jude stands and leaves. The camera cuts to the crestfallen look on the man's face.  _

“I almost feel sorry for him,” Zero remarks. “Although, I'm proud of the way Jude handled that. I don't think I'd have shown as much restraint.”

Tracy steps forward and asks, “How do you deal with public opinion on your relationship?”

Zero sneaks a glance at Jude and strokes his neck gently. “Sometimes it can be hard. We can't go to the grocery store without eliciting a reaction and that can be annoying. However, I'm in this game and I know what it entails - Jude's behind the scenes, so it's him that I feel for.”

Jude releases an appreciative sigh, hand over his chest as he says, “My hero.”

Zero cracks a smile; this is a topic they've been through privately, although, Jude's never blamed him. If anything Jude always holds onto the fact that he pressured Zero into coming out. 

“On a serious note, I can't be mad at that guy or anyone else. We chose to put out relationship out there. And I'll be honest and say it was at my insistence, so, I can't be mad. I'm just grateful to have Zero in my corner no matter what. It's easy to deal with when he's by my side.”

+

Pete's latest demand is for Zero to post a tweet about his upcoming book,  _ Davenportunity,  _ a self-help guide for retired athletes. 

“He's  _ worse  _ than the trolls who keep sending me pictures of David Hasselhoff.”

Jude offers him a bemused smile. “I don't know. Hasselhoff has still got it.”

Zero grimaces, carefully keeping his voice low when he says. “This is a joke.”

Jude grabs Zero's phone and pats his arm reassuringly. “Here, I'll post the tweet for you.”

_ Go out and buy @PeteDavenport’s new book if you want to see me play come Saturday :)  _

Zero snatches the phone back. 

“This is not how I tweet. There's an  _ art  _ to it.”

Jude laughs and shakes his head. “Well then, I guess I'll leave you to it.”

+

_ Lucas comes back around.  _

_ He's Jude's three o'clock meeting; although, Jude clearly isn't expecting him.  _

_ “I need you to undo whatever you did. I'll do anything that you ask for.” _

_ Jude places his pen on his desk carefully. “... Last time I asked you to something for me, you didn't.” _

_ Lucas swallows visibly and runs a hand through his dark hair. “I'm sorry for that, okay? I'm sorry for all of it. I was a dick to you back then.” _

Zero folds his arms as he watches the scene unfold. “Really? We're giving this jackass airtime on  _ our  _ show?”

Jude glances at him nervously. “Uh, about that…”

_ “I was looking through your client list. DeAndre Johnson piqued my interest.”  _

_ Lucas's face turns pale. “He's already signed with the Cavs. It's not official, but if we pull out, it'll piss off a lot of people.  _

_ Jude shrugs and picks up his pen, clicking it open and shut in quick succession. “Well. I wonder what would happen if I his team know that the rumours about you aren't baseless.” _

_ “Legally, you can't do that,” Lucas snaps. “I sent you a cease and desist letter.” _

_ Jude smiles; slow and wide, before he reaches into one of his drawers and pulls out a folder. “Maybe you should take a look at this.” _

_ Lucas does so and the camera zooms in on his increasingly red face.  _

_ “I'll talk to DeAndre.” _

_ Jude takes his folder back and smiles yet again. “That's all I'm asking for.” _

Despite that fact that seeing Lucas makes his insides twist with rage, Zero loves that Jude's been able to show what he's capable of. 

“Didn't DeAndre  _ just  _ get a new agent?”

Jude shrugs innocently, but there's a twinkle in his eye. “I have no idea. 

+

Wedding planning is on the top of Zero's list of things that he  _ never _ wants to do again. 

The fact that he has to sit here and relive it pains him even more. 

_ Zero and Jude are in the middle of doing their registry. They're at some hipster store in West Hollywood that Lionel recommended.  _

_ “Half of this shit is garbage.” _

_ Jude pulls him away from an ugly ceramic pot and chides him gently. “This stuff is vintage.” _

_ Zero snorts, but he says nothing.  _

_ “Anyway, we have the venue booked. Now all we need to focus on is what we're wearing.” _

_ Zero rolls his eyes. “Let's have a nudist wedding. Problem solved.”  _

“Have I mentioned how much I love your sparkling wit?” Jude asks Zero. “I'm not sure why you were so against planning this wedding.

Zero doesn't answer because Jude knows why. Planning a fake wedding for television has got to be bad luck  _ somehow _ .

_ “Look, we can at least agree on what we're wearing. I was thinking white tuxes.” _

_ Zero rolls his eyes. “That's boring. We're the hottest couple in town right now. We need to wear something bold and striking.” _

_ Jude almost drops his registry price gun. “No. No. No. Timeless and classic. That's what we need to wear.” _

_ “Let's flip a coin.” _

“Why do you  _ always _ demand that we flip coins?” Jude asks. “I never have any change on me.”

Zero shrugs. He's not about to tell Jude that he has a special coin with tails on both sides. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> ... to be continued....


End file.
